Beta and back to butt shots.

2300 was the updated beta on the hcg levels! Very good news!! Eeepp!

Only sucky part is I have to do the progesterone injections in the booty again because my progesterone was a little lower than Dr. Loy prefers. I'll keep with the crinone (progesterone gel vaginally) twice a day and add one cc of the progesterone oil at night. Also still taking estradiol 4 times a day orally.  Lots of work for a HUGE reward. 

Great great news. 

Can I relax now? 

Nope!

Beta

Beta blood draw was yesterday at 8am. They called around 2:30 to tell me congratulations.

Beta: 987 (the 87 may be like 47 I didn't write it down!!)

I go back tomorrow for another beta. It should be double. We'll schedule the first ultrasound from there. That'll happen in about 3 weeks. 

Feelings: pooped! Cautiously dreaming about the day we meet. Feeling pretty subdued to be honest. I'm not getting the best sleep but I'm thrilled about the symptoms. I imagine that will subside once I'm used to heartburn 24/7. 

Gagged yesterday at around 8:30 pm and wanted to do cartwheels I was so pleased. Oh the things years of infertility does to the mind!

The moment we've all been waiting for...

This is long because its a couple of notepad entries I made a few days ago. I wasn't real comfortable putting it on the blog yet but I feel like since I've been open about negatives I should be just as open about the POSITIVE!

The following was written 7/26/13 at 2:14am:

I flipped out at work around 3pm. Had a light pink spot on a pantyliner (cue the music that makes you feel like all hope is lost). Decided enough is enough and drove home on my lunch break to take the dreaded home pregnancy test. Told chad I was coming. When I got here I asked if he thought I should go through with it.

 He said yes.

 I asked I it would ruin his night since he had to play at Molly's tonight. 

He said no. 

He asked if he should come with me.

 I said no you don't need to watch me pee. I'll call you once the timer starts... 

I sit. 

I pee. 

I don't even get my pants back on and that sucker was positive. 

I repeat. Positive. 

I lost my mind. 

I can't speak... 

I need to speak..

He needs to come quick!

I'm clamoring to get up and starting to yell for chad while choking back tears. "It already says positive!!!!"  

I'm shaking. 

He comes running. 

He's holding me tight trying to calm me down as he also is freaking and fighting tears to stay strong for his trembling wife. 

I say I just can't believe it through my balling. He says he can. He has been so stoic through all of this.... 

Next he prepares for me a turkey sandwich and kisses me goodbye because I have to go back to work!! Haha I was totally worthless the last half of the day. It was ridiculous. 

We are pregnant. We are going to have a freaking baby. It is so surreal I can barely wrap my head around it. 

Calling the doc tomorrow to see if I should be concerned w/the pink spots. From what I've read it's normal so trying to stay calm and positive. 

Holy crap. 

Can't sleep. 

Need to sleep. 

How can I sleep at a time like this. 

I've never fallen to sleep knowing I was pregnant before. This is very new!

Holy crap!

The following was written on 7/26/13 at 8:55pm:

I've know now for a little over 24 hours. Still doesn't seem real. Called the doc. They said no concern about the spots (there were 2). That really set my mind at ease. Not completely but quite a bit. No spotting at all today (Hooray!!). Boobs are still very tender, I'm drained, i've been peeing a bunch and didn't sleep but for about 4 hours due to heart burn. All good signs. I'll take them too. The more symptoms the more my mind will be at ease that baby K is okay. When you go through 5 years of infertility all you crave are symptoms. Maybe I'll wish them away down the road but not on day 2. 

Figured out my approximate due date should be around April 3rd. It would be so freaking hilarious if baby is born on April fools day (date my eggs were fertilized). Then we can confuse everyone by telling them that conception to birth took exactly 1 year. 

Learned a bit today about breast feeding and foods to avoid. I have a couple pregnancy apps that will come in handy for sure. Lunch with Lesley was super fun. A conversation that's been a long time coming. What fun. Our babies will be about 4 months a part. Sweetness. 

Going to try to write a little something every day if I can. 

My RE is a super star.

Just stumbled upon this amazing stat online... Dr. Loy is ranked #10 nationally by US news and world report for gynecology. That makes me feel pretty freaking safe. Wowsers. 
Nothing to report yet. I've just been dreaming and staying at rest since the transfer. I'm enjoying it for the most part. It's going by so fast. I kinda that pictured 5 days off would go by at a snails pace since I have had no plans but to veg but its going by quickly. 
I think I've googled everything possible about embryo transfers, blastocyst stages, implantation, anatomy of the blastocyst, what happens daily, and anything else google suggests I search for in the world of reproductive endocrinology. 
I can probably take a home pregnancy test next Wednesday or Thursday. HCG levels should be high enough to show up on a pee stick. As per usual I shudder at the thought of home pregnancy tests but I don't know if I can handle the epic ness of driving to Orlando, getting blood drawn then waiting hours for a phone call at work. Just thinking about it raises my blood pressure. I don't like either option but I'm leaning towards knowing before the blood test and letting the blood test confirm. 
We shall see. 

Post transfer update!

Transfer went perfectly. They thawed two embryos since we have a surplus just in case one didn't survive the thawing process. The dr said we had the option of putting both back in but it increases the odds of twins too much for chad and I to be comfortable with given my small uterus. His advice was to go for one. At first I was torn to be honest. I thought they would have to throw the 2nd one out if we chose to go w/just one but thankfully they can re-freeze them. Don't know how much that'll cost me but I want every embryo to have a full chance at life if I can help it. 

We put back the one which the doctor said was of excellent quality. He gave us science specifics about the "grade" but it didn't make any sense to me and I can't relay it anyhoo. Odds are in our favor for that little sucker to implant. The "shell" looked like he wanted it to. 

The sonogram pic has a bright flash in the lower mid left quadrant. That's the moment the embryo was placed in my uterus. The crazy looking mass of cells is the embryo. Evidently the uglier they look the better they are. 

Feeling great (I'm high on Valium). Ready for the next 5 days of stillness and dreaming. 

In less that 10 hours we do the transfer.

So it's 1:49am on the day of the transfer. I clearly am too excited to be sleeping. I'm so excited. Like when I'm 5 and christmas is only hours away (back when christmas felt like it took forever to role around). I'm nervous and cautious but freakin elated that we get this chance. I'm thankful. So many have taken our fertility on as their burden. I get texts and emails just to encourage me. I have so needed these deep seeded friendships that not only allow me a forum to vent about fertility but also allow me to share in the goings on of so many others. It has brought some friendships to a higher level. I'm so grateful for some of these special infertility side effects. 

Speaking of side effects. I am so uncomfortable. My body is aching from all the meds. My back legs and even my hands are sore. It's wild. I'll take it. I'll take the headache I've had for God knows how many weeks now. It's all worth it just to know that we did everything we could to get to this kid. In my heart when I'm walking or sitting at my dock on the lake I hear "come get me!". We are on our way baby. Woweeee. 

Will update after I come out of my Valium daze tomorrow. 

We have a transfer date! Weeeee

Transfer is scheduled for 7/16! Woo hoo! Last lupron injection is tomorrow morning (thank God!). I'll stay on estrace through the 1st trimester. We'll start the progesterone in oil booty shots tomorrow. Start keflex (for 5 days) and medrol 16mg (for 4 days) on 7/14. So stoked. 

Dr Loy did the ultrasound and said my lining was an A++. They are looking for it to be at 7mm and mine was 9.9 which is basically a centimeter! The nurse said she hasn't seen a lining that good in a long time. Good news for sure. I'm so freaking tired but very happy the appointment went so well. 

Getting warmer

Had to double the estrace two days ago and boy howdy does it make me feel terrible. I've had a constant headache. It'll be worth it in the end so we soldier on. I just feel like my poor endurance levels are waning and I can start to feel my emotions waxing. On Friday I have to quadruple the dose of estrace so I've resigned myself to the thought that I might be very wacky until this med protocol is over. Ironic part? I have to take estrace until week 12 of the pregnancy! Oh lawd! I will walk through fire to fight for my children before and after they arrive. 

It's looking like (as best I can tell) we should be doing the transfer by the end of next week or beginning of the following week. 

My next visit is considered pre-op. I'll get some prescriptions and the Dr will do the ultrasound scan to confirm that my lining is ready. My visit Tuesday went perfectly. Thank God! I knew before I went it that it would. If its taking a toll on my emotions and giving me a wicked headache I imagine its doing a beautiful job on my lining. Sure enough that lining was nice and thick after only a week! 

I think in part I know this cycle (which has kinda lasted since April) of injections at 6am every morning for weeks on end plus working the midnight schedule (to decrease the amount of time I have to take off of work) is coming to an end. It's like I feel like I can relax a little now. That relieving feeling though comes with an extra side of emotions that I just wasn't ready for. I've been visiting my dock almost every day to watch the birds and the lake do their thing. It's calming. It's spiritual. It's exactly what I need. 

Just take it a day at a time. I will report back on Tuesday after pre-op to update on how my system is taking the quadruple dose and what we'll be doing next.