wish i could say it was because i had a positive pregnancy test. actually i didn't take one. like i said in my previous post i was just sure that the last cycle i did was going to be "the one" i even took a cell phone picture of the ovulation test when it showed that i was ovulating because i knew it was going to be the last one i'd see. so let me give a short history of the last 3 cycles of 100mg clomid.
i have ovulated every time but once on the meds so we know it is doing its job. each time i ovulate its on day 16/17 so thank God now we have a frame of reference to work with we start having our baby making fun about 5 days before we know i'm gonna ovulate and keep up the good work until about 4 days after. we have finally found a rhythm with the help of the meds and its so nice to have a "normal" cycle. women that are like clockwork haven't a clue how much harder it is to conceive. right right woe is me... but no! not any more. i can at least be thankful that i've been somewhat regulated. hooray.
so back to the last 3 cycles. i ovulate on day 16 then start lightly spotting 9 days later on day 25ish then i get my full on flow b/w days 29-33. which of course is a huge let down at the spotting moment and then i get kinda excited because maybe its implantation. implantation bleeding happens to about 30% of women about a week before they are supposed to start. well not this lady i keep getting my period after the fact. so of course i do my research and find that if i'm shedding my lining this early that can also play a role in infertility b/c the embryo doesn't have that full 12-14 days window to attach. i read that many woman are put on progesterone to keep the lining from being shed to early so i call up the doc. i was nervous to tell them about the early spotting cuz i was nervous they wouldn't give me the meds (which is stupid i realize i actually could have been prolonging this journey because of my "control"). i tell them everything and ask about progesterone. doc says "i agree"... wait really? man o man if i'd said something earlier.. oh well its in the past perhaps they would have taken a "wait and see" approach to it anyways. remember i am in Gods hands not my own. doors open, doors close.
so now my new cocktail of meds is a little more aggressive in the clomid i'm gonna start with 150mgs and i started taking prometrium (progesterone supplement) yesterday when i full on started my period. i know chad was bummed this time around i kinda had already gotten my peace about it and knew my period was coming but i was so shocked last monday when i started spotting. its like i had that moment when i looked up at the sky and thought "don't you remember God? this was supposed to be the month right?". oh me of little faith.
we are excited about this next cycle praying the new med change and a few more prayers will be the ticket. God is good and if all works out this cycle we will have a baby before christmas (yes i did the math).
i've been turning to the Bible more and more these days for comfort and guidance. i wish i had done this a year ago. i spiritually have gotten so dry and this has really helped keep me more peaceful and focused on my blessings.
so we pick ourselves back up and focus on new possibilities. i'm excited. every day that goes by gets us step closer to meeting this kid. i so can't wait to be their mom.
No comments:
Post a Comment